TNP: S'pore gay returns, says 'Things have changed' (Oct 19)

S'pore gay returns, says 'Things have changed'

SHE left Singapore at 18 as a gay asylum seeker. Mary (not her real name), 32, was granted asylum in Canada in 1995 but has since returned to Singapore.

19 October 2006

SHE left Singapore at 18 as a gay asylum seeker. Mary (not her real name), 32, was granted asylum in Canada in 1995 but has since returned to Singapore.

She left for Toronto in 1993 after being beaten up by a group of men who saw her and her then-girlfriend holding hands.

She told The New Paper: 'Those were different times - we were still being beaten up, harassed - it wasn't like how it is now. There was a sense of fear - but things have changed.'

With whatever savings she had, Mary bought a plane ticket to Toronto. She initially lived in hostels. Then she found a more permanent accommodation.

To pay for school and living expenses, she worked part-time.

One of her few Singaporean friends was a gay male who shared the same immigration lawyer. She had nearly no contact with her family back home throughout her stay there.

She moved back to Singapore in 1998 after being diagnosed with chronic fatigue, which rendered her unable to work.

As her savings were dwindling, her family paid for her plane ticket home.

But Mary said her homecoming was joyful.

'I found that the (gay) community had grown, that it wasn't so underground anymore,' she said.

'The moment I realised that Singapore was opening up, I wanted to be here, to be a part of it.

'Most of us don't want to go - I didn't.'

Now, Mary works as a counsellor, dealing mainly with young women in similar circumstances.

She does not plan to return to Canada.

'At that time, I had to be where I wasn't going to be living in fear. I was scared - but it was a learning experience.'